zelda_queen | Hush, Hush: Chapter 13

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Hush, Hush: Chapter 13

ZeldaQueen: Hey guys! I know the last few chapters have been a little dull, but don't worry! Patch is back! Feel free to hide under your beds now!

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

Chapter 13

ZeldaQueen: It's the following night at seven, Vee and Nora are putting their plan to investigate Patch's workplace into action, and I already must call time. One day. It has been one day since Vee has been in the hospital and had surgery and been doped up on pain medication and recovered from a broken arm and a concussion, among other things! And she's already out of the hospital, with no medication of any sort, no mention of a cast, and no signs of recovering from heavy injury??? I mean...what? I...guess someone could get out of the hospital that quickly, but no recovery? No pain medication? It's not like the book has particularly given the impression that Vee's family couldn't afford to fill any prescriptions? Oh, and I'd like to nominate Vee's parents for the Worst Parents of the Year award, because apparently they're just fine with their daughter skipping off to a restaurant with only her friend, the very day after she got out of surgery. It's handwaved as taking a lot of convincing, but still!

*rubs head* So yeah, Nora and Vee go to the restaurant, with their plan ready. Apparently they were going to emulate Bella Swan and flirt with the staff, in an attempt to find out where Patch lives and whether or not he has been arrested before.

You know, I have to wonder why these idiot heroine types always go to flirting first and foremost to find stuff out. Whatever happened to just asking friendly-like? Also, there's a not-so-subtle swipe at Marcie Miller (who in no way relates to this scene at all), suggesting that this was the sort of thing she'd do. Yes, flirting is an slutty, horrible thing that only the mean bitches do. For shame. *rolls eyes*

Nora is very nervous by this all, and I have to ask why she feels the need to take this all to such ridiculous levels. It's pretty clear that Vee is just making the plan overly-elaborate because it amuses her. Anyway, Nora has a sheet of paper with her questions on one side and a prompt for flirting tips on the other. Okay then.

Before they go into the restaurant, Vee tosses Nora a bag with sharkskin five-inch heels. Oh, this sounds fantastic. It seems that Vee plans to up their chances of success by getting themselves to look the part. Because it's impossible to flirt in flats, oh yes. My high school Homecoming memories are all lies, it seems. First my real name and now this. This book is just exposing so many falsehoods about myself that I was unaware of!

So of course Nora agrees to go along with this, and it's painfully obvious that Fitzpatrick is setting up for a "funny" klutzy scene. Vee then drops another bombshell - that she invited Jules and Elliot along. Because that won't make the plan more difficult, bringing along two guys who have no idea what's going on or what you're doing!

And no, Nora never gets a chance to tell Vee that Elliot may or may not be a murderer, or that he acted in a threatening way to her earlier. Vee tells Nora that she's secretly dating Jules, mainly because he lives in a huge house and "His parents are either South American drug lords or come from serious old money". She also has never met his parents, which I think would be more effective SUBTLE FORESHADOWING if having parents was at all standard in this book.

Nora literally grabs Vee and desperately tries to warn her about the online article, and Vee is a stupid twerp and is all "Ha ha, you have Elliot and Patch mixed up!" And while I'd normally congratulate Vee on growing a brain and telling Nora to keep away from Patch, she's still being a horrible friend. Nora clearly is upset about being with Elliot, she thinks he tried to attack her, and not only does Vee secretly invite him along, but she then laughs off and ignores her friend's obvious distress.

And no, Nora still doesn't get two seconds to say "I read an article implicating Elliot of murder". Instead, she is dragged into the restaurant, where Elliot is standing behind the waitress. Nora goes all dry-mouthed at the sight of him, and he starts to act like a terrifying creeper. He explains that Jules isn't there because he's sick "as in it's coming out both ends". I must say, that's a description I've never heard before and could stand to never hear again.

Vee, of course, completely misses Nora being terrified and Elliot being creepy. They all sit down, while Nora ponders Vee hooking up with Jules. I personally would be confused because while she's all but draped herself over him, he has done nothing but ignore her. Instead, Nora thinks that Jules seems unsafe, if only because he's close friends with Elliot and is sullen and withdrawn. And yes, Nora harps on Vee dating Jules far more than necessary, making this SUBTLE FORESHADOWING as well.

The hostess sits them down, and Elliot makes a comment about liking things hot. Nora gives us this hypocritical remark

"I was pretty sure he was being slimy. I'd been way too generous in thinking he wasn't as low as Marcie. I'd been way too generous about his character, period"

ZeldaQueen: Nora, sweetie? The reason you were "way too generous" was because he wasn't low and slimy before. That's character derailment, not you being a bad judge! Way to confuse your readers, Fitzpatrick. Why not just come out and say "If a guy seems nice, don't trust him! He's probably a slimy jerk and a murderer to boot!"

Also, whenever Patch makes sexual comments like that, you swoon. When Elliot makes comments like that, you consider him inhumanly slimy. Yes, I know she's distrustful because of the murder bit, but it still feels like a double standard.

Elliot continues to be creepy and we're hammered over the head with how his eyes are full of hostility and resentment towards Nora. Nora starts trying to verbally corner him, by asking about his previous school. Vee is generally stupid and unhelpful. Anyway, Nora asks why he transferred if the previous school was so great. He makes a crack about the girls being hotter in their area and winks at her, which freaks her out.

Now, if Nora remembered, she could have brought up the fact that he apparently forgot his own cover story, namely that he left his previous school because he lost a scholarship. Instead, Vee asks why Jules didn't transfer as well. Elliot says that Jules' family is super-intense about his education, which causes Vee to go all dreamy-eyed. Elliot also spins some tale about how Jules' parents travel a lot for business and are in the diamond trade, mainly in Africa and Australia. Nora mentally calls that out as bullshit, thinking that Australia doesn't have any diamonds. Huh, a few people will be surprised at that. Nora tries to press why Jules is living in Maine instead of Africa, and Elliot dodges the question in a very obvious way. Vee, continuing to be stupid, makes a very obvious comment about how the son of people in the diamond industry should know a lot about engagement rings, and announcing what kind of cut diamond she'd like on hers.

This all ends when the waitress brings them their drinks, which is Nora's cue to slip off into the bathroom. She tries to get Vee to go with her, because she's afraid of leaving Vee alone with Elliot. Vee does not pick up on this, and there's a very odd argument which leaves Elliot wondering why Nora is so desperate for company on a quick trip to the ladies room.

Nora finally gives up and leaves, sneaking off with her bag of costume stuff. Oh yeah besides the high-heeled shoes, Nora will be dressing up in "One platinum blond wig, one purple push-up bra, one black tube top, one sequined miniskirt, hot pink fishnet tights", and all topped off with a lot of make-up. WHY IS THIS ALL NECESSARY???

There's another swipe at Marcie Millar (complete with the lovely implication that by flirting with someone, Nora is lowering herself a level) before Nora plucks up her courage and goes over to the bar. She assures the bartender that she's waiting for a friend, and slips out her list of questions/flirting tips. Unsurprisingly, the bartender quickly figures out that she's up to something. She still manages to get into the questioning though. She is unable to verify if he was working on Sunday (which would rule out whether or not he attacked Vee), and unsurprisingly the bartender refuses to let her see Patch's job application. Nora decides to throw caution to the wind at this point and starts outright asking the bartender if Patch has had any arrests, if he has a history of stalking, and (inexplicably) if he has a girlfriend. And then...oh lord, this is not going to be pleasant

"'Go ask him,' he said.

I blinked. 'He's not working tonight.'

At the bartender's grin, my stomach seemed to unravel.

'He's not working tonight ... is he?' I asked, my voice inching up an octave. 'He's supposed to have Tuesdays off!'

'Usually, yeah. But he's covering for Benji. Benji went to the hospital. Ruptured appendix.'

'You mean Patch is here? Right now?' I glanced over my shoulder, brushing the wig to cover my profile while I scanned the dining area for him.

'He walked back to the kitchen a couple minutes ago.'"

ZeldaQueen: That? Just seriously creeped me out. I don't know, I think it just hit it into me she can't get away from him. No matter which way Nora turns in this book, he's always one step ahead. He's following her everywhere. There's no way she can gain the upper hand on him.

Okay, really scared now. And it gets worse, ladies and gentlemen. It gets worse.

Nora runs back to the bathroom and starts splashing cold water on her face and seriously is scared because she knows that Patch will find out what she was doing. You know, given that they're going to end up a couple, it is not a good thing that their...erm courtship basically involves the sentiment "He'll punish me for doing something he disapproves of". While musing about everything, Nora shuts off the water and straightens up and sees Patch's reflection in the mirror. She screams, and I nearly did to. WHAT THE FUCK?

We're told that "He wasn't smiling, and he didn't look particularly amused". Nora asks what the flip he's doing in the ladies room, and he accuses her of spying on him. Ohhhhh that's rich, you stalking bastard! To Nora's credit, she calls him out on that, as well as telling him that she was just taking Vee out to celebrate her release from the hospital. This loses a good bit of power though, because we're told how she sounds defensive and guilty and I expect him to slap her for disobeying him at any minute.

Patch asks her "Want to explain the tacky hair?" Oh dear Patch, did your woman dress in a way that you do not approve of? Fuck you, you asshole. If she wants to wear a gorilla suit, she can do as she damned well pleases! Nora does not point that out, and instead takes off the wig as she demands to know where he's been for the past two days. Patch replies that he's been playing paintball, because I think that paintball and pool are the only "bad boy" things Fitzpatrick can think of. He asks Nora to tell him what she was doing, and she tells him that she was talking to the bartender, which was perfectly legal.

While they're discussing all of this, Nora bends over to take off the high heels. As she leans over, her list of questions and flirting prompts falls on the floor. Being the arrogant douche he is, Patch snatches them away from her and reads them, ignoring her asking for the list back. He laughs at the question of whether or not he has a girlfriend, and tells her that if she wants to know things about him, she only has to ask. Excuse me.

YOU NEVER ANSWER WHEN SHE ASKS, YOU BUNGHOLE!!!

Sorry, sorry. Nora tries to insist that the entire thing was a joke Vee cooked up, and he of course does not believe that. He tells her that he has no felonies or arrests and I guess he's proven so trustworthy in the past that his word is all it takes, of course. Nora asks if he has a girlfriend, and he says that it's none of her business. *sighs* 'Scuse me for one other moment.

SEE WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT YOUR ANSWERING, NUMBNUTS?

Okay, I'm done! Really! Nora makes the very valid point that it's her business if he has a girlfriend considering that he made out with her. After smirking and being a dick, Patch tells her that he has an ex-girlfriend, and who wants to bet that this is important? I have to agree with shaolina. Exes are always evil in these stories. And sure enough, Nora figures that the female stalker was said ex-girlfriend! But Patch says it can't be her, because she's not around anymore. And he doesn't deny it when Nora asks if she's dead. So the ex is dead, right? Right?

Someone starts rattling on the bathroom doorknob, and Nora remembers that she locked it. She vaguely realizes that Patch got into a locked room without unlocking it, but decides that she doesn't want to consider the implications of that. IDIOT!

Patch unlocks the door to get back to work, but not before making a crude comment about Nora's skirt and legs. The woman trying to get into the bathroom does not make a comment on how odd it is that a guy just came out of the women's room. Instead, she notes to Nora that he looks "slippery as soap" and "A girl could lather up in soap like that". Fantastic. We can add old grey-haired women to the list of women lusting after Patch.

Nora returns to her table, and Elliot slips immediately into creepy mode again. Nora makes an excuse that she feels sick, and that she's going to box her meal to go. Amazingly, Vee takes the hint and leaves with her and there we end

Onward to: Chapter 14

Back to: Chapter 12

Return to to: Table of Contents

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Amazingly enough the thing that pisses me off the most is the statement that we don't have any diamonds. :Z I don't know why when there's so much more to be pissed off at.

I dunno--Did Not Do the Research always pisses me off considerably, mostly because it's easy enough to check facts. Many mistakes can be eliminated with a two-minute Google search.

As someone who is currently going through the process of having surgery, and know people who went through sudden surgeries, I do have to say that Fitzpatrick got some things wrong and others right.

First off, yes, people can spend extraordinary little time in hospitals after major surgery. Personally, I am having fairly invasive surgery and they are kicking me out after two day (unless they have to go very invasive, but that's a different story). My (male) cousin had his head bashed in by his psycho friend, resulting in brain damage, and they let him out after a week. My boyfriend was released the same day he had hernia surgery, and my (female) cousin (who is the sister of aforementioned cousin) was released the next day after having a Cesarian and her spinal cord leaking. So, either my family is horribly cursed, (don't...get me started on my papa) or hospitals don't really like having patients stay, waste of beds. Then again, I live in Canada.

Second, they actually wean you off the initial painkillers because just because you don't get addicted to them, doesn't mean you won't suffer withdraws. They aren't going to just take you off the heavy stuff without replacing it with the lighter stuff, that's just cruel. Seeing how much of an idiot she is, I'm actually shocked she's not popping the painkillers all ready.

Thirdly, Vee must be a fallen angel herself because NO ONE is so superhuman, that they get out of a hospital and go back to normal life after ONE DAY. My mom and I already have major plans for my post-hospital care. Granted, yes, I have a lot of time to plan it but in all reality, Vee shouldn't even WANT to leave the confines of her bed. My boyfriend, after his hernia surgery, had to sleep on the couch for a week because he couldn't even walk up the stairs to get to his room. I know for me, I'm going to probably going to have to consider walking to the bathroom in my single-level house and forget getting my own food, that's why they invented bells.

In conclusion, while she did get one thing right (maybe, I think my family is just cursed), ultimately, Fitzpatrick is a major idiot who probably never had surgery/knows someone who had surgery/probably hasn't been within a stones throw of a hospital.

Yeah, I know that there are lots of different ways those sorts of injuries are treated, by way of length of stay in the hospital and medication and all. There's really no signs of it happening at all after she's out though, besides a few token mentions of her having a "good arm", which might as well sound like she just bruised one of them.

So yeah fail, Fitzpatrick, fail indeed. -_-

/You know, I have to wonder why these idiot heroine types always go to flirting first and foremost to find stuff out. Whatever happened to just asking friendly-like?/

I am so sick of this trope. Not only is this book continuing the theme that girls have to flirt in order to find out information, instead of, you know, just *asking* like normal people, but that they have to dress up like hookers while they're at it. Tell me, when was the last time that a *male* character had to dress like a prostitute in order to ferret out information (because, yes, male prostitutes *do* exist)? I sure don't remember Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, or any other male detective stooping to such lengths. Holmes often disguised himself, yes, but never as a prostitute. Yet by the way the media portrays female secret agents and investigators, you'd think that pretending to be prostitutes was a job requirement. Funny how male secret agents and investigators never have to do that. /rant

/Also, there's a not-so-subtle swipe at Marcie Miller (who in no way relates to this scene at all), suggesting that this was the sort of thing she'd do./

So, Marcie is the Aphrodite of this book? Figures.

/Also, whenever Patch makes sexual comments like that, you swoon. When Elliot makes comments like that, you consider him inhumanly slimy./

Because Elliot isn't hot. Duh. *rolls eyes* And he's not the Designated Love Interest.

/Instead, she notes to Nora that he looks "slippery as soap" and "A girl could lather up in soap like that". Fantastic. We can add old grey-haired women to the list of women lusting after Patch./

*stares hard at the screen*

All right, Ms. Fitzpatrick, let's play a little game. I'll call it "Genderbending." Say that Nora is a boy named Norris and Patch is a girl named Patricia. Say that this scene was happening in the men's room. Patricia leaves, the old man comes in, and he tells Norris that Patricia looks "slippery as soap" and "a guy could lather up in soap like that."

Get the picture?

THIS IS NOT FUNNY. YOU'RE NOT SHOWING ME THAT PATCH IS TOO SEXY FOR HIS SHIRT, YOU'RE SHOWING ME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS A PERVERTED, SLEAZY PEDOPHILE (or, more accurately, ephebophile). THIS IS DISTURBING. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS?

*takes a deep breath*

As for the rest, all I can say is that I would dearly love Vee and Patch to be tied together with barbed wire and thrown into a pit of lava.

...this entire chapter is a pool of what is this I don't even.

And as someone who's working on sporking Keiran Halycon, the intense descriptions of appearances and clothing put little shivers into my spine.

My GOD.

And re: Vee's surgery and impossible recovery time, even MEYER had a couple of months where Bella recuperated after James threw her around.

And what a great message this is. If you're a girl and need questions answered, the only way anyone will look at you/take you seriously is if you dress like a tramp and lay it on thick. Also flirting is the same thing as whoring yourself out. Also, a guy who creeps you out and mindrapes you is a perfect match so long as he's hot.

WHAT THE FLAMING FUCK

The "dress all sexy and be a flirt to get info" trope is so degrading to both sexes, you know that? It's degrading to women because they have to behave in such a manner and also makes them out to be brazen hussies and temptresses, only being flirty and sexy when they are doing something they know/think is wrong, and it's degrading to men because it makes it out like a little flirty talk and a few shakes of the knockers and they immediately have their brains so filled up with thoughts of sex that they can't think straight at all and will spill their guts.

I hate it.

I second that.

And you know what makes me hate it even more? That all this time Nora spent in the bathroom, putting on her tacky wig and hooker wear, could have been used to concoct a good story which would convince the bartender to be more helpful. The scene isn't extensively quoted, but it looks like she just pulled the list on him and started ticking off the boxes. It would have probably worked better if she just struck a normal conversation and steered it in the preferred direction, slipping important questions in between the small talk. And of course she wouldn't be able to see the job application - they wouldn't show it to a third party who wasn't a cop or an employment inspector, because I'm pretty sure it would constitute a violation of the law.

(and I just have to wonder: why the high heels? The bartender wouldn't be able to see them from behind the counter anyway)

"The scene isn't extensively quoted, but it looks like she just pulled the list on him and started ticking off the boxes."

That's pretty much how it went. To be fair, the narration does give the impression that she'd be just as nervous if she weren't dolled up, but it still is pointless.

"(and I just have to wonder: why the high heels? The bartender wouldn't be able to see them from behind the counter anyway)"

Because high heels are trampy and on trampy girls flirt, dontcha know? -_-

I am actually staring to like Vee. See, at first she was just obnoxious. Now I see that she is sociopathic and is just using Nora's problems as an excuse to have crazy fun breaking the rules.

Why, when dressing as a hooker kind of girl, must Nora wear a blonde wig? I mean, I get the make up and whatnot, but why a wig? Patch is not supposed to be there and it's not like the bartender would remember Nora, so why bother with the wig? What, does blonde hair give off the impression of an airhead bimbo? Huh? Why are people always against blondes, hey?

Not sure if this has been brought up, but if I recall, Nora is described as a brunette with very curly hair. Well, I wonder who else looks like that? Could it be... Becca Fitzpatrick herself? Perhaps she has the same mentality against blondes like SMeyer did?

Why are these books reading like bad fanfics written by 14 year old kids?

There really wasn't any reason given for the wig. Nora didn't really protest it or love it, Vee didn't force it, nothing. I could understand if Nora just liked dressing up or if she was worried that word would reach Patch that "Hey, some dark-haired girl was asking a lot of questions about you" if she didn't, but neither seem very likely.

Yes, Fitzpatrick has brown, curly hair (although it does look more golden-brown in the sunlight pictures). And her attitude towards blondes is... hard to say, really. Vee is blonde and isn't a very good friend to Nora, but I suspect that Fitzpatrick didn't intend for her to be seen that way. And I *think* Marcy Millar is a redhead, given the Pippi Longstocking comparison. Still, unfortunate implications.

Yeah, experiencing Meyer kinda made me a bit snide when it comes to characters' looks. I know the blonde wig isn't a problem for Nora, but since Patch made note that it's tacky... And the bitchy Dabria/Miss Greene (I cheated and read Wiki) is blonde too. Kinda made me raise eyebrows.

True, true.

And Dabria gets me hackles up. Just wait until we get to that part of the book. I'll rant about why. >_<

Marcy is indeed strawberry blonde.

Man, the whole pacing of this chapter was kinda confusing.

After sporking Vampire Kisses for a while now and by reading this, I'm starting to get real offended by al these female YA lit authors' notions that we pathetic women all lust after arrogant guys and want someone to control us because it's obviously a sign of love! >.< According to them, we're all so needy and completely nothing without a man that we'll taking anybody showing us the slightest bit of interest! Along with that, men always know better and shouldn’t be complaining when we're getting attention from the 'hawt' guy! We should just all eat shit and like it because we are nothing without a man!

And just like in Vampire Kisses, we have the leads bitching about the skanky cheerleading hos! Gee, I wish we actually had evidence of Marcie being a skank, because she's barely been in the story!

Wow, way too derail Elliot so quickly. It only took Smeyer about 2 whole books to destroy Jacob, but Fitzpatrick set a record to derail Elliot in just a few short chapters! :P

And Australia has diamonds, I assure you. Lots and lots of pretty diamonds here (none of which I actually own :D) In fact, we even have a jewellery store called (wait for it)… The Australian Diamond Company! Their slogan? 'Engaging Romance!' :D

Link: http://www.australiandiamondcompany.com.au/

I also imagine Jules' parents owning a blood diamond mind in Africa now :P

I can not see on any level how Patch is appealing to women. I'm going to be having a very in-depth (read: extremely wordy ^^;; ) rant about this in later chapters so I'll spare you now, but there isn't a single thing about him that is able to redeem him. I mean, Jack Sparrow was charming and we see that when push comes to shove, he's willing to help his friends and do the right thing. Flynn Rider was a bit of a jerk, but he actually treated Rapunzel very well and did everything he could to protect her. Mitchell of Being Human was a bloodthirsty vampire and he loved his friends above everything else. Certainly he never treated Annie like Patch treats Nora! >_< (Plus, Annie has the brains not to put up with that sort of behavior, unlike Nora. Her involvement with one abusive dude was clearly an undesirable thing)

I know, right? Given what we learn later, I honestly don't know what she intended for Elliot.

You know, if Nora was supposed to be your average teenager, I could possibly buy that she was just mistaken. But no, Nora's supposed to be a straight-A student going for a scholarship (which hasn't been mentioned since, I might add).

"hot pink fishnet tights"

What the hell is this, My Immortal?

This story just sounds godawful. How does anyone find this stuff romantic in any way at all? Patch doesn't seem like a bad boy he just seems like a creep. Most of the rest of the cast seem like idiots.
There is definate problems with this sort of stuff being portrayed as "Romance". It's like those movies that they had in the 50's where a man treats a woman a bit roughly and then she melts into his arms, basically. It should be a discredited trope by now but obviously not.

No, My Immortal would be more entertaining. -_-

My guess is that Fitzpatrick is like those girls who see Pirates of the Caribbean and think that being a pirate would be so awesome and not at all involves horrible things - they are too shortsighted/stupid to realize how those sorts of things work in real life. The disturbing thing is that it's a lot easier to find an abusive partner than to become a pirate.

'that she invited Jules and Elliot along'
... Has Vee even got a brain? How stupid - how mindbogglingly STUPID - is this girl?!

AND WHY IS PATCH SO SCARY OH MY GOD THIS IS SO BAD EXCLAMATION MARKS DON'T HELP ANYMORE JUST ALL CAPS OHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Patch replies that he's been playing paintball, because I think that paintball and pool are the only "bad boy" things Fitzpatrick can think of.
How bad is laser tag on that scale?

Exes are always evil in these stories
See also Mrs. Whatsherface from 50 Shades.

Instead, she notes to Nora that he looks "slippery as soap" and "A girl could lather up in soap like that". Fantastic. We can add old grey-haired women to the list of women lusting after Patch.
Do. Not. Want.

Nora makes an excuse that she feels sick,
So would I if I had to spend time with Patch.

'He's not working tonight ... is he?' I asked, my voice inching up an octave. 'He's supposed to have Tuesdays off!'

'Usually, yeah. But he's covering for Benji. Benji went to the hospital. Ruptured appendix.'

'You mean Patch is here? Right now?'
What exactly can Patch do? Can he cause such things to happen? Why didn't the guy go to the hospital earlier? Speaking from experience, appendicitis is painful as all hells. You do not want to stay in that state longer than necessary. (Protip: wanting to tough it out and go to uni or work is not a good idea, especially if you live some distance away from there. 45 minutes of public transport aren't too nice...) (Then again, I might be straying into political territory here, as healthcare here in Germany is different and oh damn I mentioned the h-word...)

Also, totally shipping Pee now. They deserve each other.

Edited 2013-09-01 08:10 (UTC)

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Hush, Hush: Chapter 13

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