Come on, people, a vampire doesn't need to be HOT to get victims! Look at Dracula! He's not Edward (*gag*), but he's very dignified, charismatic, and he has power! He gets plenty of victims through being charismatic and the like!

Also, for some reason, I think those asides about Paris Hilton and the "(I wish I had big boobs.)" are some random things one of the authors wrote in the editing process, some sort of banter or whining, and they forgot to edit it out. It's the only reason I can think of for it even being in there.