I honestly and truly have no idea what was up with the author of this thing. I think she might not speak English as a first language, which would explain the screwy spelling and grammar, but that doesn't explain the terrible plot. Apparently she's a huge drama queen, but I'm wondering if there's something else going on with her. She has/had (hasn't updated for years) a LiveJournal and one of her posts has her talking about how she plans to spork some really bad FMA fanfiction. As someone noted, the way she "spoke" in that post was weird, in a really detached and smug manner.

Yeah, one of my theories is that Meyer wrote this. My other theory is that this was written by the girl who did My Immortal, before she sustained a head injury and moved to the Harry Potter fandom.