http://zelda-queen.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] zelda-queen.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] zelda_queen 2013-04-21 01:15 am (UTC)

Woot! :D

Yeah, that's mainly why it jumped out at me. It's like how we'll later get throwaway mentions of Nora going to a gym or thinking about how she used to play the cello. Not only are those hobbies out of nowhere, but they seem totally out of left field for her character. And I know that there are plenty of people who have past times or like things that don't seem the sort of thing they'd be into, but it doesn't feel like that.

The entire "plot" here is disjointed. Fitzpatrick obviously wanted one of those stories were a bunch of strange, seemingly random events happened, but she forgot to give any consistency or unnoticed patterns.

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