The Spork Of Christmas Future: Butterfly

[zelda_queen]

The Spork of Christmas Future
Was the last challenge up ahead
And the sight of the suethor's name
Filled ZeldaQueen with dread

It was a one-shot song fic
Among the dullest seen
And it was penned by none other
Than the suethor Link's Queen!

ZeldaQueen gaped in horror
And a figure soon appeared
It was the Ghost of Christmas Spork
He laughed at her and sneered

"This is a sign of things to come,"
He said with a smirk
"This hints at what you soon will spork
Now hurry and get to work!"

And he tried to disappear
Again with a grand escape
But ZeldaQueen was too quick
And caught him by his cape

"Oh no you don't, you bastard!"
The sporker did cry out
"Don't leave me here to face this
You stupid, yellow lout!

Are you the Ghost of Christmas Spork?
Then prove to all your worth!
Help me to take down among
The Zelda fandom's worst!"

He paused at this challenge
And snarled with all his might
"You shall have my help," he said.
"Two shall spork tonight!"

Butterfly

Authors Notes: I have done it again.  I’m right back at it.

ZeldaQueen: Erm, is Link's Queen secretly Britney Spears?

This is my 3rd song fic, based on another one of Mariah Carey’s songs called “Butterfly”

GOCS: I would never have guessed that, seeing as it was in the title

This one is focusing on Malon’s feelings for Link. How the relationship they had just didn’t seem to work out. She’s going to explain how they met and fell in love, but then it seemed that his love for her slowly started to slip away over time. Now its been 10 years since they were together, (This is after Link defeated Gannon but he did not go back in time) but it seems that Malon now 28 years old, still feels something for him, she found it hard to let him go then,

ZeldaQueen: Is there any particular reason why you told us the entire plot of your one-shot, Link's Queen?

but does she have to let him go again, even though he has found and married another?

GOCS: Of course she does not! Has she never heard of an open marriage?

ZeldaQueen: Threesomes are coming back into vogue, I've heard...

Rated PG 13 for adult langue and themes.

ZeldaQueen: *condescendingly* You're very funny

Disclaimer: Ok I know I do not own Malon, Link or any of the other Zelda peeps. They belong to Nintendo (Though I wish I owned Link hehehe)

ZeldaQueen: No, you wish you owned his balls. There's a difference

GOCS: Is there really such a difference, in her mind?

ZeldaQueen: ... No, there is not

But I however do own Jenna and any another chars in this story that are not found in Zelda, so don’t use them without my permission.

GOCS: I suppose that means I must ask her permission, if I am to eviscorate Jenna with my spork sythe *swings it*

I’m just using the Zelda peeps for my stories.

ZeldaQueen: All I can picture is the Legend of Zelda cast made up as marshmallow peeps!


Butterfly

GOCS: No, I do not see any. Where is it?

A lesson learned in letting go.

ZeldaQueen: Given the wanky author's notes for My Inner Life, I'd say Link's Queen could stand to learn that lesson as well

The sky was setting off tones of deep pink, and lavender, the sun nearly fading from the horizon as Malon was ushering the last two horses into the stables for the night. It had been a long day and she was tired. After she secured the last two horses into their stalls, she walked out of the barn, latched the doors shut then went into the house.

ZeldaQueen: Question! Is this supposed to sound like it's from my elementary school readers?

GOCS: I imagine she believes it to be quaint

ZeldaQueen: It's damned boring!

Ingo was busy cooking dinner while her dad, Talon was upstairs getting cleaned up.

ZeldaQueen: ...Ingo is a girl?

GOCS: Ingo is Talon's daughter?

She decided to go upstairs herself and clean up as well before dinnertime. She went into her room and stood in front of her vanity

GOCS: Because we know that farm houses often have vanities

and begun to brush her long reddish blonde hair.

ZeldaQueen: I know, right? Just like girls who live on farms often primp their hair a ton

Malon watched as the image in the mirror mimicked everything she did,

ZeldaQueen: Dude, it's a mirror. Why are you acting like it's weird that it's reflecting what you're doing?

GOCS: Quite. Now the opposite, I could understand being interesting. I once owned a cursed mirror which I bought from a stranger in Cloud Cuckoo Land, and which would never reflect exactly what the owner was doing -

ZeldaQueen: I want to get this done before Christmas, dude. Later!

right down to the twinkle that reflected from her crystal blue eyes.

ZeldaQueen: Aaaaaand we see that Link's Queen still has that "crystal blue" obsession

She ran the brush down the full length of her hair, stopping for a moment after every few strokes. When she finished, she sat the brush down and proceeded to walk to the bathroom, when something caught her eye.

GOCS: *rolling eye in hand like a marble* I am dreadfully sorry, but I was only able to capture one of them

There on the nightstand sat something that always gave her bad memories.

ZeldaQueen: Pictures of Link, naked. It reminded Malon of when she found out that Link was secretly a woman

She walked over to it and picked up a gold bracelet made with Triforce links lined with diamonds that Link had given to her when they were together.

ZeldaQueen: And clearly Link's Queen also has that Triforce jewelry fetish

GOCS: I do so love how she leaves such an elaborate gift simply lying about

She gave the bracelet a scornful look as she walked over to the bed and sat down. Turning the bracelet over, she read the inscription that was engraved on the underside. “To my love Malon.” “I love you always.”

GOCS: (Link) "Although not enough" "to use" "proper quotation marks."

Her face twisted into a scowl as she remembered the day Link gave it to her.

ZeldaQueen: Question! If she hates that thing, why does she leave it out where she could readily see it every day?

GOCS: Plot convenience

ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, silly me!

He gave it to her just days before he “broke it off” with her.

GOCS: And with such awkward wording, it sounds as if he snapped a piece of her body off

His excuse was that he felt as if the flame between them had slowly flickered out and that his feelings for her were just not the same anymore.

ZeldaQueen: Um...in those very words?

She remembered how long she cried that night, she practically cried herself to sleep. Then for the next few days, it seemed as if her heart had totally fallen out of her chest,

ZeldaQueen: Just like Russia!

GOCS: Please, remind me not of that fandom

ZeldaQueen: Oh come on! It's not like it's Harry Potter or -

GOCS: *clutches head, whimpering about Harry/Voldemort fics*

the feelings she had for him still lingered strong inside her. Every time she saw him after that, she would breakdown and cry, it even happened more then once in the Market, causing her to feel like a total ass.

ZeldaQueen: Mm, the phrase "total ass" fits perfectly in with that flowerly language, huh? Almost makes it as plausible as using the phrase "nut sack" in one of the sex scenes

But she held strong, held onto a hope that he would return to her, return to the love they once shared.

GOCS: I am sure that there ought to be a soundtrack to this, perhaps "Everlasting Love"?

“When you love someone so deeply
They become your life

ZeldaQueen: *points* There's your soundtrack

GOCS: Ah yes, be careful what I wish for and all that rot

It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imaged I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open my hands
And watch you rise”

ZeldaQueen: Just like Link, during those sex scenes! I'm so sorry

GOCS: No, you are not

“Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly

ZeldaQueen: This is so pointless!

GOCS: Care to move along?

Fly abundantly into the sun
If you should return to me

ZeldaQueen: Can we?

GOCS: Of course *snaps fingers

[Snip - remainder of chorus]

ZeldaQueen: *blinks* Well, that was handy!

GOCS: You are welcome

ZeldaQueen: Oh, quiet! It's not like you would have done it if you weren't being subjected to this as well!

She suddenly blinked, her head swarming with thoughts of “him”.

GOCS: With such usage of quotation marks, I have no choice but to assume that "him" is a demon of some sort

Her gaze returned to the bracelet in her hands as she pulled it close to her heart. Small crystal white tears

ZeldaQueen: We need to start a drinking game for this thing

trickled slowly down her face as her body shuddered with uneasy feelings. “What is wrong with me?” “Why am I still upset about the breakup that happened between us ten years ago?” Malon asked herself softly.

ZeldaQueen: You're just wondering this now?

“Is it that I’m still in love with him?” “Have I really not gotten over him?” “Oh Goddesses this cannot be happening!” Malon cried as she came to the realization that she indeed was still in love with Link.

ZeldaQueen: So kind of you to lead your readers directly to that, Link's Queen. Please, let go of my hand!

GOCS: With such misuse of quotation marks, Malon sounds rather schizophrenic

“Oh gods why do I still have these damn feelings?” “He has moved on…he has already found and married another.”

GOCS: Ah yes, that would be the dreadful Jenna Silverblade?

ZeldaQueen: It is, most unfortunately

“I didn’t feel this way when I sung for him at his wedding, but why the hell am L feeling them now?”

GOCS: Please, do not sully the Death Note fandom

ZeldaQueen: What the heck? How did she replace "I" with "L"? Did she have a stroke at the keyboard or something?

“Why….just why can’t I seem to break free of these empty feelings still wrenching my saddened heart?” She questioned herself again

ZeldaQueen: Well, maybe if you weren't such a drama queen about it...

as she closed her big blue eyes and let her thoughts move to the day he called it to an end.

She remembered that it was a clear blue day, the sun high up as a gentle breeze blew threw the trees of Hyrule Field. A messenger had come from the Kokiri Forest with word that Link wished to speak with her with the utmost urgency. At first she thought Link was in trouble, but she soon realized that it was more then that.

GOCS: No, he was in trouble

ZeldaQueen: Mary Sues are the worst sort of trouble there are, and Jenna is the worst of the worst by way of Legend of Zelda Sues

When she arrived at Link’s house(who was eighteen at the time)

ZeldaQueen: *spit take* The house was eighteen?!?

inside Kokiri Village, her worst nightmare was about to come true.

GOCS: She was about to be forced to fight a hideous monster. Oh, no, her boyfriend was leaving her. Perspective, my dear, is a lovely thing

When she looked into his eyes, the eyes that usually shimmered a deep blue were now dull and like ice.

ZeldaQueen: Because it's not like ice is ever shimmery - oh, wait. You dumbass

At that point she could tell that she was going to hear something she was not going to like.

ZeldaQueen: Who ate the last of the ice cream

“Malon I’m glad you’re here.” “I have something I really need to tell you.”

ZeldaQueen: (Link) "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"

GOCS: (Link) "It only took fifteen minutes"

She eyed him with a worried stare before he spat the words that were going to change her life forever. “Um….Malon…I don’t quite know how to explain this.” “I know that we have been together for quite some time now, but I feel that our love is not what it used to be.” It was with those words Malon knew that it was all going to end. “I feel that the flame between us has slowly flickered out and it’s just not the same.” “ I just don’t think I have the same feelings for you as I once did.”

ZeldaQueen: *nearly dies laughing* Holy shit, he did use those very words!

GOCS: Link's heroic mime persona certainly does hide the aspiring poet, doesn't it?

“I hate to say this……but feel we should end this, but even though that there will be not love interest between us, I still care for you as a friend.”

GOCS: In other words, he told her that he does not love her anymore, they are still friends

“Maybe just maybe there could be something between us later in time…..but just not now.” Those were the words she dreaded to hear and it was those words that caused her world to shatter around her. She took off crying, leaving Link behind as he pleaded for her to come back, but she blocked them out and ran home.

ZeldaQueen: *falls asleep from the cliches*

GOCS: *pokes her awake*

Her eyes flung open as she came back to reality. She looked down at the bracelet again. “What the hell happened to us.” Malon questioned herself

ZeldaQueen: (Malon) "And where did my question marks go?"

“Why did he leave me so…. so tattered and torn?” “What did I do so wrong that caused him to leave me so?” “Where did I go wrong?”

ZeldaQueen: Not your fault, dearie. You just were targeted by a vengeful Suethor

GOCS: Let us not bother with this next nonsense *snaps fingers*

[Snip - bland song lyrics]

ZeldaQueen: Much appreciated

GOCS: I am a frightening spirit, but I still have my limits

Memories of when they met begun to race threw

ZeldaQueen: OH YES, AND THAT WAS RETAINED BY LINK'S QUEEN AS WELL! SPIFFING!

her mind now. She remembered it like it was yesterday. The memories of those days always tasted like heaven, tasted like the sweet honey a bee makes.

ZeldaQueen: I'm so trying hard not to make a joke about sweet tastes and sucking Link

GOCS: By saying that, did you not just make one?

ZeldaQueen: Dammit!

She never forgot the day when they met in Hyrule Market as ten year olds. He was so cute in his green clothes with that blue fairy floating around his head. She even remembered the name she used to call him…..

GOCS: Tom Cruise

ZeldaQueen: Oh wow, someone other than me has actually seen that movie?

Fairy Boy. She never thought too much of him then….but something inside her snapped when he showed up at Lon Lon Ranch seven years later as a fully grown handsome adult.

ZeldaQueen: And, given how it inspired her to write My Inner Life, that sight snapped something inside of Link's Queen as well

When she first saw him mounted

GOCS: Oh dear!

ZeldaQueen: *screams*

on Epona, the first thing that came into mind, was that he was the one she met as a child….the Fairy Boy from the forest, but when she looked into those eternal blue eyes…the eyes that always made her body swoon, she knew at that point it was love.

ZeldaQueen: Yep, I really think Link's Queen is projecting

She remembered the long pause between them as they stared deeply into each other’s eyes and the stuttered words that soon followed.

GOCS: None of which was in the game's dialogue, mind

And it was soon after that, they fell in love and got together.

ZeldaQueen: That quickly, yes

For a while all seemed well. The love between them was strong, so strong that they even experienced sharing a “special part” of each other.

ZeldaQueen: You fucked. Just say it. And of course Link's Queen had to keep that particular sexist cliche, that it's fine for a man to be experienced, but it's best if it's the woman's first time

GOCS: Ah yes, I remember Jenna saying how wonderful her frist time was. I certainly wish I did not, but still...

She remembered the first time they shared the most sacred thing two people can share.

GOCS: Drinking straws, perchance?

She remembered it like it was yesterday, the feeling left behind a certain glow around her. And it was the feel of his lean infatuated body naked against hers that left a strong feeling of a lingering desire behind in her own body, leaving her with the longing to taste his honey once more.

ZeldaQueen: Link's Queen. Please stop projecting!

Then it all seemed to end in a blink of an eye.

ZeldaQueen: Ah, so you had a quickie

One thing she knew she was the happiest person alive, then the next thing she knew her whole world was crashing down on her.

GOCS: Alas, she was not so fortunate

She got up off the bed and walked over to the mirror once more and stared into the image that was looking back at her. “How could Link leave me so...alone.” She questioned the image in the mirror. “Why did he abandon me?” He face twisted into a scowl as she remembered the feeling after he told her it was over.

ZeldaQueen: Do you even care about this?

GOCS: Not in the slightest. Have you not noticed how little I am contributing?

ZeldaQueen: Yes I did, you lazy ass!

GOCS: Hmph. I am not the one in need of being retaught the true meaning of Christmas

ZeldaQueen: Dude, I love Christmas! What's sporking got to do with it?

GOCS: Erm...that is to say... We had best resume sporking

ZeldaQueen: *sighs*

“He did this on purpose, I can see it now. He had to!” “I mean, what else could he have done to leave me so...so stricken and confused!” “It’s not even that, he even once said that there just might have been a chance for love again….. a chance to rekindle the flame between us, but did I ever get that chance……

GOCS: Here we go *snaps fingers*

[Snip - bland song lyrics]

ZeldaQueen: This is getting tiresome

GOCS: Would you rather simply spork them?

ZeldaQueen: *quickly* No!

She shook her head. “No I didn’t, I never got that chance!” “Now I’m left with nothing….nothing but a broken heart.” “To this day I have been asking myself what I did so wrong for him to have left me like this, but I have yet to get the answer I seek.” “But maybe it was more, maybe I have been blinded in some way.”

GOCS: Of course, she was blinded by canon

ZeldaQueen: I was going to guess science

“Was Link really that unhappy and I was so blinded by love that I didn’t notice he was slowly slipping away from me?” “Was I so caught up in myself I didn’t see that the flame between us was slowly dying?” “I guess I will never know, but one thing I do know, I was negligent to his happiness.”

ZeldaQueen: Because it's always the woman's job to keep the man happy!

“But even in light of all that has happened I’m still in love with him.” “I’ve tried to convince myself I was over him, but in reality I wasn’t.” “Even to his day I still long for him, the feeling taking over my mind every waking day.” “I cannot help the way I feel, it’s not something I can just throw away that easily.” “Maybe I’m just clinging onto a useless hope, maybe I’m hoping for the impossible, but one thing I do know, I have been lost without him ever since that day…..the day he left me so…..alone.

ZeldaQueen: Great! Now stop whining about it!

GOCS: *snapping fingers* Skip ahead!

[Snip - bland song lyrics]

ZeldaQueen: Any chance of doing that for more of this fic?

GOCS: No

“By the goddesses, I'm doing it again!”

ZeldaQueen: (Malon) "I'm playing with his heart!"

“I just don't understand it, not at all.” “After all, if I am so disappointed in Link, then why can't I forget him?”

GOCS: That is easy. The Suethor will not allow it

"Why are these feelings still plaguing me?” “Sigh” “Maybe its just because I’m finding it so hard to let go.….to let go of the one person that I truly loved.”

ZeldaQueen: Yeeessss, I'd say it's hard to let go of someone because you're having a hard time letting them go...

“So flutter through the sky, Butterfly,”

ZeldaQueen: 'Cause you can't take the sky from me!

“God how I'm going to miss those blue eyes, the ones that always twinkled when he stared with them into mine, the ones that always shimmered with loving glances.”

GOCS: I do feel that Link's Queen has a fetish

ZeldaQueen: I wish she'd just look up porn

“Maybe I’m just fantasizing,

Both: NO, REALLY?

but I will never forget those eyes for as long as I live.” “Perhaps, I have come to the realization that Link indeed became a butterfly and needed to know what it felt like to fly,”

GOCS: With Jenna clinging to him like a leech, there is little chance of that

“Spread your wings and fly, Butterfly,”

Perhaps since he did not return to me…..then maybe we weren’t meant to be……

ZeldaQueen: I think a Magic Eight Ball uses better logic than this chick

“Butterfly”

Well what did ya think? Yay Nay? Well pleases tell me what ya thought, I’m dying to know. I think I’m getting better at these song fics. I kinda find those to be the easier ones to write,

ZeldaQueen: Because you just have the characters blather on about their wuv for Link!

but I need impute on just how good you think they are. Thanx.

GOCS: Are you really so lazy that you can not just put a "k" in there?


Christmas in the Realm: 2011