So, here's the scoop on what's going on:
- I'm still awaiting the last few sporkings for City of Ashes. As always, the list of who's sporking what, along with who's turned in what, is here. Since there have been a number of folks who haven't been checking back in when I've poked them before, it's time for The Deadline. Basically, I'm going to poke everyone who still has to turn stuff in. If you don't have it done this instant, that's fine. However, I AM STILL GOING TO NEED SOME DETAILS AS TO WHEN TO EXPECT IT BY. Next week, tomorrow, the end of the month, just give me something to go off of. Of course, if it's done, fantastic! Just send it over to me, and it's all good. But the important thing is to, in some way, touch base with me in regards to the group sporking. IF YOU DO NOT CONTACT ME IN SOME WAY AND INDICATE WHEN YOU THINK THE SPORKING WILL BE DONE (OR FAIL TO CONTACT ME AT ALL) BY JULY THE 27TH, I WILL ASSUME YOU'VE DROPPED OUT AND GIVE YOUR CHAPTER TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!
- Reminders also that like with City of Bones, every group sporker has the option to submit a mini-Final Assessment along with their sporking. If you already turned in your sporking but didn't turn one of these in, you can still do so. PM me it, e-mail it, even post it in the comments here, I don't care. For more information on the basic guidelines of the mini-Final Assessments, there's a reminder here.
- There are still chapters in need of replacement sporkings, for City of Bones. More information on those chapters can be found here.
If you have not, I highly recommend checking up on the sporking list status and making sure the info for your chapters is up-to-date. If I have down, say, that your sporking hasn't been received and you sent it to me months ago, please let me know.
Sadly, I have also re-opened several chapters due to the sporkers vanishing. The now-available chapters are:
- Chapter 15: The Serpent's Tooth
- Chapter 17: East of Eden
On an unrelated sporking note, someone in the comments section for the Fifty Shades of Grey sporkings mentioned a book by the title of Gabriel's Inferno. It was another Twilight fanfiction that became published, this one
MOTHER. OF. GOD.
You know, it's probably not the most pretentious pile of hamfisted, overly-symbolic dog crap I've ever read, BUT BY GOD IT'S TRYING FOR THAT POSITION! Dear God! Bad enough the Suethor apparently doesn't get anything out of The Divine Comedy except for "Beatrice/Dante = OTP!!!" Bad enough we're supposed to buy
So yes. This thing is going down. I don't know when, but IT WILL BE SHOVED UNDER THE FROZEN LAKE WITH SATAN. Which is a more sound Inferno allusion than most of what goes on in that book!
On one final, non-ranty and non-sporking note, I've gotten involved with an online project known unofficially as the Ghost Tricks Musical. For those of you who have heard of the Turnabout Musical project, yeah it's an unofficial offshoot of that. It's a different crew, but our goal is the same - to make an online radio drama/musical of the game Ghost Trick. I'm not sure how many folks here are fans of that game (though I highly recommend it - ton of fun, and by the same folks who did the Ace Attorney series), but if anyone is interested in joining in or following along, please feel free! Our headquarters (so to speak) are at this thread here, so welcome!
And that should be all for now. Good luck to everyone on their recaps, hope life is going well, and enjoy February!
First of all, I apologize for having been MIA for so long. Again. I do have an excuse, though. Finals were rolling by, and they're my last ones ever. Yep! By the time next week is out, I'm finally graduating from college! I'll be running the Realm with a Bachlor of Arts, a-yep!
*ahem* Sorry. On to the interesting stuff!
A whole bunch of you turned in your sporkings for the City of Ashes chapters. That's fantastic! That being said, it's time for Round Two of the sporking turn-ins. The next deadline to check in will be December 20th. Again, it's fine if your sporking isn't totally finished. It's the holiday season, I know everyone's busy. If you're done, send it to me. If you're not, just check in with me and give a quick status update. If you do not check in, I might think you dropped out and reassign your chapter and all sorts of avoidable stickiness will be had. So let's not.
Please note that if you have changed your mind and want to drop out of the group sporking, it's totally alright. Just please let me know, so I'll know to reassign your chapter.
Other orders of business on the group sporking! First up, several chapters have opened up and need sporkers. If you are interested in checking out what's now available, feel free to look at the sign-up list. I also highly encourage sporkers with their own chapters to take a quick look at the list, especially any who have sent me their sporkings. should have updated the list to say whose sporkings I have received, but please have a look. If you have sent me your sporking and the list doesn't say you did, let me know. Odds are I got it and just forgot to mark off the list, but best to make sure everything got through.
Finally, some of you might recall how I once upon a time had plans to spork Chick Tracts. For many different reasons, I have given up on that. To put the Chick Tract table of contents I created to good use, I will be linking to all of albion_witch's Chick Tract sporkings from there. Enjoy!
And, I think that should be everything. Good luck to anyone in their finals weeks, and hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season!
For everyone signed up for the group sporking, I am setting September 15 as the deadline for our first round of check-ins. Basically, if you have finished your sporking by then, turn it in. If you haven't finished but are still going through with it, give me a message and let me know by then. If something has come up or you decided you don't want to do the sporking anymore, that's when to let me know, so I can give the chapter to another person.
We are NOT starting the sporking then, so if that's too soon for some people to be done, please don't panic and think we're leaving without you. I just want to keep this on track, that's all.
That being said, I would like to see if the group sporking can begin not long after that date. Exactly when will depend on how many recaps I get in on the 15th, and where we all are generally standing. Like I said, just let me know about anything going on. I'm pretty flexible, and I promise I don't bite. Similarly, if you have any questions at all, please ask!
Other than that, have fun and enjoy your sporking!
First of all, I greatly apologize for how slow things have been. The reason for the halt in sporkings is because I'm coming up to the end of another semester, which means that there are a lot of papers and things to get ready. Add in the fact that some smartass(es?) decided that it would be a great idea to call twenty-some odd bomb threats over the past few weeks and that my campus is now crawling with security, and things have been rather tense. So again, very sorry. Things should pick up once some of this stuff has been taken care of.
Second of all, I would like to remind everyone that there are still a few open chapters for the group sporking of City of Ashes. By now, anyone who wants a chapter can get one, so mosey on over and have a peek if you're interested. Just make sure you read the rules and guidelines (in that same post) before you sign up. If you've already signed up for a chapter, please check the list as well. It's updated, so if anyone sees any incorrect information on it, please let me know and I'll sort it out.
If you're already signed up for a chapter, feel free to spork and send me your work any time you'd like. I'm not saying this to pressure anyone. Like I said before, we're not starting this until after Dark Side of the Moon is sporked. But if you do get it done, I'd be more than happy to take it.
Finally, I'd like to direct you all to the Sporking Chamber of bluesunnyday, who is currently slogging through the infamous My Immortal! Let's all give Blue a hand for taking on that incomprehensible dreck!
Before we begin, I'm going to post a few rules here. You guys know the drill, be sure to read this all and follow the rules.
1.) You have to read the entire story, or at the very least know what happens in the book
Yes, I know this was not a requirement for the last sporking. This time though? You've got to do it. If you can't get through the entire story, read the summary on Wikipedia. Or ask someone who has read through it. Or find an online summary. Point is, know enough that you don't fill your sporkings with "I don't know what that is" or "Where did that come from?" when things have been explained or introduced already. (Saying you don't understand something because it genuinely is confusing is, of course, a different matter and is acceptable)
Also, if you are just going off of a summary, and you still find something in your chapter that confuses you, there is the very thorough Shadowhunter's Wiki. Or, if that still doesn't answer your questions, feel free to ask me or anyone else you know who has read the books.
Long story short? Know the plot.
2.) There is no word or length limit to the sporkings
This was something that caused a lot of confusion for the last sporking. Basically, it's what it says up there. Don't worry about the Livejournal word count limit. Don't worry that your sporking is too long. Don't worry if it has to be split up into multiple parts. Trust me when I say that everyone would rather an in-depth sporking than one that glosses over everything.
If you know your sporking will need to be broken up, incidentally, feel free to mark in the sporking where you'd like the breaks to be. If you don't, or if you didn't know it would be multiple parts, I'll choose a natural breaking point myself, so it's no issue. If there's a preference though, just be sure to let me know.
3.) New sporkers, lurkers, and anonymous folks are all welcome to sign up
This is a group project, and everyone is welcome! Don't worry if this is your first sporking or if you don't have an account. If you want to take a chapter, have at it!
If this is your first time sporking and you are nervous or concerned about making some sort of faux pas, feel free to ask about anything. This is all for fun, and no one should take this on while worried that they'll screw up and be shot for it or something.
For any anonymous people who want to take a chapter, I will need (A) a name of some sort to credit your sporking to and (B) some means of contacting you. The name certainly does not have to be your real life name. You can give me any name you like (any appropriate name, obviously). The means of contacting you can be whatever is most convenient. It just has to be something that I can actually reach you at. Don't give me the ten-year-old e-mail address that you never check for mail anymore, because chances are I will need to get in touch with you for some reason or another, and if I can't get in touch with you and you don't get in touch with me, I might incorrectly assume you've dropped the sporking.
4.) Do not spork the chapter word for word
This is a published work. Sporking the entire thing line by line is a no-no. You are more than welcome to quote, but the bulk of the sporking ought to be in a recap-style, similar to what I do for my book sporkings, or what Mervin is doing for her Twilight porkings.
Other than that though? The sporking style is up to you. If you want to bring in your favorite fictional character to spork with you, if you want to do some of it in script-style, if you want to use GIFs, go for it!
5.) New sporkers get first pick
Exactly what it says on the tin. So that everyone gets a chance at this, I'm designating specific sign-up times. It goes like this:
January 24th to February 7th - Only sporkers who have not participated at all in the last group sporking can sign up
February 8th - March 1st - Sporkers who only sporked one chapter in the last group sporking can sign up
March 2nd and onward - If any chapters are left unclaimed, any sporker is welcome to ask for them
Keep in mind that once the starting period applicable to you passes, you are still allowed to claim a sporking. For example, if it is February 10th and you are a first-time sporker who wants to claim a chapter, you're more than welcome to. Hopefully though, this will make it a little easier for everyone to get a piece of the action.
6.) This sporking will be posted when...
While there is not yet a set date for when this will get started, do not expect it to begin until the group sporking of Dark Side of the Moon is finished, or at least almost finished. das_mervin was very considerate and held off starting her own group sporking until we were nearly finished with ours, so we're showing the same courtesy.
(And for first-time sporkers who might not know, yes this will be hosted over at das_sporking, and not at the Realm)
Everyone can take advantage of this to balance their lives and dealing with this incredibly boring book. Again, I do not have a specific deadline for when I'd like the sporkings sent in to me by, but I would very much appreciate them in a timely manner. This leads to the next rule...
7.) If something comes up, please inform me of it
It's fine if you want to trade chapters with someone. It's fine if real life is kicking your butt and you need to bow out of the sporking. It's fine if things are just taking a little longer than expected. All I ask is that you tell me of these things. If you swap chapters or have to give up the sporking or told me a deadline that it turns out is too soon for you, tell me so that I know what's going on. In spite of what you may think of me, I don't like pestering any of you and I don't want to needlessly poke someone about a sporking that is no longer their responsibility or something. Much obliged!
8.) No more than two recaps per person
Simple enough. Enough people signed up for the last sporking that two chapters were generally the maximum. If there are any left over that no one will claim, then we'll see if anyone wants three. Until that comes up though, stick to two.
9.) To contact me:
My e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org. To send me your sporking, or if you have any questions, you can reach me that way.
Other than that, I read all comments and PMs, so you can contact me that way if you have any questions.
(On the subject of sending me the sporkings, if you send them in attached documents, .wps and .doc ones are best, if at all possible. If you send documents in a form that requires a specific program to access it, please let me know)
10.) Have fun
*glances up* Wow, I really like my lists, don't I?
So! Let's get to the good stuff! Here are all of the chapters within City of Ashes:
Prologue: Smoke and Diamonds - platinumgal (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 1: Valentine's Arrow - madforbeyond
Chapter 2: The Hunter's Moon - hoppytoad79 (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 3: The Inquisitor - apep727 (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 4: The Cuckoo in the Nest - turtlecrackers (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 7: The Mortal Sword - Calyn
Chapter 8: The Seelie Court - meanwhile_el (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 9: And Death Shall Have No Dominion - parrinoyed (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 10: A Fine and Private Place - zelda_queen (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 11: Smoke and Steel - mogseltof (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 12: The Hostility of Dreams - tsukasabuddha (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapte 13: A Host of Rebel Angels - tsukasabuddha (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 14: Fearless - sos_sporkers (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter 17: East of Eden - 2TwobyTwo2
Chapter 18: Darkness Visible - stormswift (SPORKING RECEIVED)
Chapter: 19 Dies Irae - Sage
And, that should be it! Again, please let me know if there are any questions, and other than that, have fun sporking!
First of all, I apologize for the stretch of time with no sporkings. I just had a fine time with our friend Mr. Finals Week, and only now am I free of his nefarious clutches.
Second of all, I'm pushing through to get Betrayed done as quickly as possible. For pacing reasons, I will not be moving on to Chosen immediately after. Instead, I will work on Crescendo first and then take on Chosen.
Third of all, as you guys might recall, The Lusty Wench and I finally got our first video review for Medieval-Pirate reviews up! Unfortunately, due to my lack of foresight, there was a problem with VEOH not wanting to show people more than a snippet of the review. I have switched to a different video host, which I hope will let everyone just watch the thing without having to jump through hoops. For those of you who want to check out the review under the new video host, or for anyone who just missed the review the first time around, you can watch it here.
Fourth, I have somehow found myself roped into the fandoms of both Avatar: The Last Airbender and Axis Powers Hetalia. This may or may not affect future choices for sporking material. (Oh God, the shipping...)
Finally, we are getting towards the end of the City of Bones group sporking, and a few people have wondered about whether or not the other books in the series will be getting the same treatment. The answer is yes, we will at least be going for a group sporking of City of Ashes. I will release more information about the arrangements for this when we get a bit closer to the end of the City of Bones sporking on das_sporking.
And...I do believe that's all for now. I hope the holiday season and life in general is going well for everyone. Peace!
For personal reasons, carakasla has requested that her sporkings for the City of Bones project be removed.
Would there be anyone here who is interested in writing up replacements for those two chapters? One person doesn't have to take both if they don't want to. The chapters are fourteen (Hotel Dumort) and fifteen (High and Dry).
If you'd like to volunteer, please let me know!
As you guys know, I always put a final assessment at the end of every recap for published works. I had similar plans for City of Bones, but I was wondering if you guys had things of your own that you'd like to add in. It doesn't have to be a huge thing, but if you had a few thoughts on the writing or the characters or the plot or anything like that overall, just put down a few words on whatever it is. If you don't feel there's anything you want to add that's fine. This is just if any of you have something left that you want to say, or want to tie up your thoughts or opinions.
All I ask is for two things to be taken into consideration. The first is that you try to be concise and to the point. Yes, I realize that I'm one to talk, but this is meant to tie together everyone's final thoughts and be easy for people to get what's being said.
The second thing, which I really insist on, is that you be professional and constructive in your criticism. Again, this is the part where we set down our thoughts, snarkiness aside. It's the "But seriously" tagline to our Bum Review, if you will.
An example of what we DO NOT want: "OMG this book SUCKED! Clare is a hack who published fanfiction! I wanted to kill Jack with a piano! There was more bullshit in here than in the Agean stables! What the flip?"
An example of what we DO want: "While Clare did attempt to go for the Byronic hero arc type with Jace, she went too far and made him impossible to relate to. Furthermore, while her use of prose was descriptive, her analogies were rather far-reaching".
If you have something you'd like to have put in, just PM it to me or comment it on this post. There's no set deadline, just make sure I get it before the final assessment is put up.
First of all, I am going to be posting sporkings on das_sporking. I'm not sure exactly when I'll start, but I suspect that it will be at some point shortly after I finish that wretched Ghosts of the Abyss. When I begin however, I'm going to do things here a little differently. For the foreseeable future, all sporkings of fanfiction will be posted only atdas_sporking. I will have links here leading to them, but the sporkings themselves will be over there. I would like to ask everyone to please be patient for this transition, as this will be the first time that I've posted in any place on LiveJournal besides the Realm. If I randomly post a fanfiction sporking here instead of at the community it's not because it's special, it's because I'm an idiot. Yeah.
At the Realm, I will continue to post my recappings of published works, as well as anything that would fall in the Other Box (memes, sporked articles, etc). The only published work I'm planning on posting to das_sporking is the City of Bones group sporking, since a lot of you guys are also members of that community and all.
Which leads nicely to our next announcement - I would like to remind everyone involved in the group sporking that if they have not handed in their sporking or given me some sort of notification regarding when the sporking will be ready, they must do so by May 25th. If I have not received anything from you - either recap or a notification of some kind - I will assume that you are no longer interested and give your chapter to someone else!!! If you sent something and you didn't get some sort of reply from me, please send it again to make sure I get it. Remember, a PM, a comment, an e-mail, any of that is fine.
Finally, I know everyone has busy lives. If you have a lot of stuff going on and you honestly don't think you can get the recap in, it's perfectly fine. Don't worry about it. Do, however, let me know, so that I'll know to pass it to someone else.
That's about it. If anyone has any questions about how many recaps have been turned in, or who is doing what chapter, or if the recapping you sent in got through alright, you can check here for that. Besides that though, have a lot of fun! Woot!
We now have recaps for half of the chapters. Everything I got thus far has been hilarious and I for one am seriously stoked for this!
This leads to the second update - I am really hoping that this can be started at least by the start of June. I have been poking a lot of people for ideas of when their recaps will be in, and everyone has been really great about responding, for the most part. Here's the thing - if you haven't either turned in your recapping or notified me with a general idea of when it will be turned in, I really need either or by May 25th. I'm not saying that's the drop-dead time for all recaps (although if anyone does have ones that can be turned in by that time, I'll be more than happy to take them), but I at least need you to sound off with something like "I'll have it in a week" or "It should be done by such-and-such time". Even if it's a general idea, I just need some confirmation.
If you don't at least touch base with me by May 25th, I will assume you've left the group sporking and give your chapters to someone else! I really don't want to be unfair, but I do want to keep this all moving and for that to happen, I need to at least know if everyone is still on board. Again, I'm not saying I'll drop anyone if they can't get their recaps done by May 25th, I'm only asking for everyone to get in contact with me, either by PM or commenting on a post, and saying "Yeah, still in, ought to be done by roughly next week/ tomorrow/ June 1st, etc"
Third update - I've had a lot of people ask me about the maximum length for their sporkings. There really is no maximum length. Just go with what feels comfortable and gets what you want said said. Don't feel you need to cut something just because you think the sporking is too long.
Finally, on an unrelated note, I finally got around to seeing Thor. It was fantastic, well-paced, a ton of fun, and I thoroughly approve of Chris Hemsworth's shirtless scene
Just so, you know, things aren't too depressing around here.
So yeah, that's about it! Happy sporking, everyone!
- Ghosts of the Abyss is still going on. I will finish it, by God, or at least get to the hentai sex scene.
- Unexpected Love, a Narnia fic, has been started. While the Suethor is still updating, we're only at five chapters now so it shouldn't be too long until the sporkings catch up.
- Betrayed has been started. Full steam ahead.
- The City of Bones group sporking is still going on. I know I said that would be done between Marked and Betrayed, but we still need more recaps until it can be started. So we're going to do it alongside of Betrayed, instead. If you need or want to see the list of who's sporking what, you can see it here. Every sporking sent in thus far is hilarious, and I personally am stoked to do this. Let's show Cassandra Clare how we roll!
- Not a sporking in the Realm, but overlordmikey has begun to spork The Door to Darkness. For those who don't know, that is a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by none other than Gethesemane Butler, which means that it's got Sues, sex, and all other things that implies.
So yeah, fun to be had! Let's have at 'em, ladies and gentlemen!
If you need a reminder of who is recapping what, the list can be found here.
Remember, e-mail me the recaps and send me a PM when you do so. My e-mail address is email@example.com. There's no hurry if you've got stuff going on, just remember that we can't start until I've got the recaps, that's all.
Also remember, if you still need a copy of City of Bones, PM me.
Aside from that, have fun! Get pumped and let's rip it a new one!
There are twenty-three chapters, plus an epilogue. How many chapters everyone can have depends on how many people are interested in recapping, of course. I will put who wants what here,
Chapter 1 - erikalyndis RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 2 - parrinoyd RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 3 - szaleniec1000 RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 4 - zelda_queen RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 5 - aikaterini (will go with six, if someone wants this one) RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 6 - aikaterini (will go with five, if someone wants this one) RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 7 - overlordmikey RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 8 - zelda_queen RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 9 - erikalyndis (if no one else wants it) RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 10 - foxypope RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 11 - tsukasabuddha RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 12 - tsukasabuddha RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 13 - tsukasabuddha RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 14 - carakasla RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 15 - carakasla RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 16 - nawsome RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 17 - turtlecrackers RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 18 - darkslover
Chapter 19 - mogselof RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 20 - emmran RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 21 - parrinoyd (if no one else wants it) RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 22 - foxypope (if no one else wants it) RECAP RECEIVED
Chapter 23 - stormswift RECAP RECEIVED
Epilogue - gehayi RECAP RECEIVED
Keep in mind that this will be changed a lot, depending on who wants what.
Now, as for how this will work. Basically, everyone recaps their requested chapters, in whatever style they'd like. All I ask is that you don't actually spork the full chapters, just because this is a published work and all. Just recap, like Mervin is doing with the Twilight series.
After the recapping is done, send it to me. You can do that however you like. If you want to e-mail it to me, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org, and be sure to PM me afterwards (the PM is because my e-mail is kind of weird about getting stuff in, and I don't want someone to slave away at a recap and then have it get lost in cyberspace and not know it). I will post the recappings here, in order.
As I said in the last announcement, if you are in need of a copy of the book City of Bones (or if you are interested in an online copy, for whatever reason), just let me know.
Deadlines: We're going to have a few weeks for people to lay claim to any chapters they want. I'm actually getting close to finishing Marked, and I'd like to tie that one up before posting a new book recapping. As for the deadlines of the recaps themselves...well, that's a little looser. Obviously the sooner you can send them over, the better. I just don't want to pressure folks who have stuff going on in their lives.
I think that's about everything. Just have fun, and may the spork be with you!